His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
