I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
