If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
