I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
