Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
