good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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