mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
