friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Randomize