member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
