we're blogging at a bar
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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