Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
