whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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