some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
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