I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
