here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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