she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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