He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize