I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
