he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
my poor anus
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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