I must be too annoying 4 u.
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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