Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize