I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
