y did u give ur computer a hand job?
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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