she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I just found puke in my bra..
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize