that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
