Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize