On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
