Sorry, I don't speak sober.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
