is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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