he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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