It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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