I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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