I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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