she looked like the bat from fern gully.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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