i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
it glows. i had to have it.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize