I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
don't judge my taste in strippers
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
