GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
How does it feel to date your dad?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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