You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
