we're blogging at a bar
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
