You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
