So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
How many fucks given?
0.12846
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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