Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
