Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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