I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
