I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
