Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I think i got beer on your cat.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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