he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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