He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
