so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
