My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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