you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
