the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
i think im in europe. pls send help
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