Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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