Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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