i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
