what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
