I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
