So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Success! We fucked roommates!
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
