So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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