I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
