R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
