Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
