Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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