I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
